FAMILY LAW MEDIATION
While divorce is almost always a painful and difficult time, it is made that much worse by going to trial where there are likely to be things said and done that may result in increased hurt, animosity, anger, and hostility that may never be forgiven or overcome. If children are involved, they too will very likely 'inherit' the negative effects of trial by observing and then modeling the behavior seen in their parents. These possible effects on children in terms of later healthy development of healthy relationships and respect for partners cannot be overestimate.
Mediation is Required and Can be Less Expensive than Divorce
As most counties in Washington State now require some form of mediation prior to trial, parties to a divorce normally will have an opportunity to pursue mediation. If your county does not require such mediation, I strongly suggest that spending a few thousand dollars (as opposed to the $15,000 to $40,000 or more you will most assuredly have to spend at trial) at that point is an excellent economic and emotional investment). This is a genuine opportunity to air out differences, vent feelings in an appropriate and acceptable environment where professionals will be guiding you, hear from professionals who have been through the court process countless times and can advise you as to what to expect and your likely chances for success in terms of what you believe you should receive, and hopefully work out a fair settlement that both sides can at least feel good about. Attorneys and judges will regularly tell parties involved in a divorce action that a settlement is almost always in their best interests as one never knows what decision a judge will make and for what reasons. That is all too true I believe and it is better to have the people involved make decisions about their children and their property, instead of having such a decision made by a stranger whose values are unknown (the judge).
Choosing the Right Mediator is Key to Your Future
Not just any mediation and mediator should suffice. The 'wrong' mediator may simply makes things worse by rushing the process, putting the parties together in the same room too soon or at all in a mediation, not having done their 'homework' in terms of the case materials provided to the mediator in advance of the mediation, being unconsciously biased toward men or women and/or jaundiced by their own divorce experience, etc. The skills and psychological and emotional ability to understand and assist others, is critical to the success of any mediation in reaching a fair and equitable outcome of division of time with children and of property. Mediation generally can be the first positive start to each person taking his or her first step to a new life. The pain and sadness will linger for some time of course, but an emotional a real 'ending' of the relationship and a 'letting go' of the anger is an essential step to a new life. Those are not just pretty words, but is reality for those of us who have been there.
Difficult Times Require Compassion and Understanding
When working with our law firm to seek and complete mediation we believe in and live the above goals. We are fair and objective; caring and concerned that each party start their new lives in as comfortable manner as possible; will not 'allow' one party to walk all over the other, take into account varying personality styles; do not attempt to push any settlement onto either party as both parties must come to the ultimate decisions themselves; always remain concerned as to the health and welfare of the children and how any outcome will effect them; educate each party as to what they could expect at trial if they cannot in good faith reach an agreement at mediation; and are always highly sensitive to any difficulties, emotional or otherwise, experienced during the process by either party.
Mediation is a Process that Can Work
We have a unique mediation process we believe in that we engage in a two step process where the parties will first meet with our Clinical Psych ologist, Natalie Novick Brown, Ph.D., who has decades of experience as a parenting evaluator, with child development issues, and has counseled untold numbers of couples through the divorce process. This step will allow the parties hopefully to better refine and note the areas of agreement and disagreement before mediation as well as providing the mediator with a better picture of where each party is at emotionally and psychologically. In some cases, the mediation process may not even be required if general agreement can be worked out through this process (or at least some issue may be resolved to reduce the areas of dispute at mediation). The next step is for the parties, the mediator, and the Psychologist to meet at an initial session (assuming it is beneficial for the parties to be meeting in the same room which would not be helpful or even appropriate in some cases including where there is a protection order in effect as to one of the parties). This allows for discussing and determining where the parties are at in terms of areas of dispute and whether the disagreements appear to be based on emotional or psychological issues and differences or based on genuine issues such as what each party deems to be 'fair,' or due to some other factors. Such early identification of such factors can be very helpful in getting past mediation roadblocks.
We are Focused on your Interests Equitably
In short, we believe our process is unique and is aimed solely at helping parties reach a fair settlement that they will not regret or resent years later and find themselves telling others going through the divorce process, "Watch it. I got taken to the cleaners by listening to those guys." While not everyone gets what they want at mediation and in fact will likely not if the mediation really is fair and objective, everyone should walk away with a genuine feeling that their interests were fairly recognized and accounted for, that they were respected, and that they walked away with a fair settlement th at did not unjustly reward one partner over the other. We could not live with ourselves if we did not provide such a commitment. While you may in fact decide to go to trial in the end, it will not be because of a lack of effort on our part. Try us, you'll like us.